Traveling as a couple has its many advantages.  Private rooms, a companion to share everything with, and someone to help you through those difficult travel times that pop up, particularly when traveling long term.

Megan and I have been together now for over 11 years, and we started traveling from the get-go.  Not every part of every trip is all puppies, ice cream, and rainbows.  And while it took a year long trip around the world to really understand how we best travel together, one strategy that we now employ saves us so many headaches and needless time-wasting conversations.

Our Best Tip for Traveling as a Couple

When people ask what the best tip is for traveling as a couple, whether it’s your spouse, significant other, partner, best friend, sibling, or family member, I always respond with the same advice:  Divide and Conquer.

Divide and Conquer is a strategy that we employed during our RTW, and it’s one that is firmly part of how we travel today.  This strategy is so simple, yet so difficult to really employ.  The premise is simple, but it takes being really comfortable with yourself and admitting your strengths, and, most importantly, your weaknesses.

Be Honest with Yourself About your Personality Traits

Let’s face it, no one likes admitting what they’re weak at, particularly if that weakness is a trait that society says you’re supposed to be good at.  If we believe in typical stereotypes, then women are the organizers, the clean ones, the ones who do the research and the planning and get everything together.  The men don’t care about any of that stuff and simply go along with their significant other.  When a problem surfaces on the road, like having to bargain for something or put a cab driver in his place for trying to pull one over on you, the man takes care of that.

How It Works in Our Relationship

Well, that’s just simply not how things go in our relationship.  Our roles, when traveling or living at home, seem to be reversed from what society deems traditional or right.  I do the vast majority of cooking, cleaning, housework, and grocery shopping when we’re at home (and on the road for that matter).  Megan has been the breadwinner thus far in our relationship, making most of the money and working long hours (no more long hours with her new job, though, thank God!).  Because of her hard work, she comes home to a clean house and dinner on the table (most of the time).

When on the road, one of the things I am uncomfortable with is having to bargain for everything.  I don’t hate it, but it’s just not my favorite thing to do.  When faced with a situation that could result in an argument, I would rather let something minor go than make a big stink about it, no matter if I was wronged or not.  I’m generally a very peaceful fellow who would rather not have a conflict unless totally necessary.  That being said, I am also quite high strung at times and get flustered when things don’t go as planned.  Luckily Megan is right there to cool me down.  She has a level head and doesn’t overreact like I tend to do.

I’m also an organizer, almost to a fault.  I’m the king of lists.  I have several notebooks from our RTW that are filled with random notes and lists, from possible itineraries to flight and bus prices to hostels to restaurants.  I just can’t help myself, and when I left for my recent trip to Puerto Rico without a list, I felt like something was missing, despite the fact that our itinerary was set for us.

My wife is the total opposite.  She doesn’t cook or clean very often and is not the most organized person in the world (which is quite the understatement, sorry honey, you know it’s true).  But what she lacks in those qualities, she more than makes up for elsewhere.  As an attorney, she has no problem bargaining and making sure we get the right deal.  If someone tries to pull something over on us, she’s right there to put them in their place.  When I have one of my overreacting episodes, she knows exactly how to deal with me to cool me down and make me feel better rather than letting my negative energy affect her.  This really keeps situations from blowing up.

How Divide and Conquer Works

Once you’ve been honest with yourself about your strengths, weaknesses, and how your relationship works, then it’s time to just let go.  If you’re not good at something, just admit it and let it go, no matter how hard it may be.  It took until over halfway through our RTW for this to finally happen, and this was after 8 years of being together and traveling together.  Even though we don’t subscribe to traditional gender roles, there were still a few I was grasping on to.

Since I was the man, I thought I should be the one to bargain with a tuk-tuk driver or a vendor or a tout.  I should be the one to deal with those things, particularly in countries where the man is traditionally in charge.  I would often dread heading out of our guesthouse in Bangkok and trying to find a cab who would actually agree to use the meter.  It got to a point where I would sometimes rather walk and take the long way just so I wouldn’t have to deal with the situation.

But Megan thrives in that situation and is so much better than I.  So once I just surrendered and let her take the lead in those situations, I became so much more at ease.  She didn’t mind doing it, and she was really good at it, with her big smile and friendly demeanor (instead of my scowl and gruff and unfriendly facial expressions).  So I just stopped bothering with it and let take over.

On the flip side, she knows that not only am I better at planning and organizing, but I actually enjoy doing it.  She hates it, and I can’t count how much time we wasted having the “What should we do…” conversation.  Whether it was where to go for dinner, what time we should take the bus, or what hostel to stay in, the response of “I don’t care, what do you want to do?” from both of us just dragged the conversation on for so much longer than necessary.

Finally, I just took the lead most of the times in those situations.  I would research accommodations and restaurants and transit and just make the decision, and she would trust my researching and organizing skills enough.  It saved us so much time and so many stupid little arguments, particularly when we were together 24 hours a day for the better part of a year.  Those “I don’t know, what do you want to do?” conversations can drive a person mad after a while.

Traveling in Peace

Since we’ve employed the Divide and Conquer strategy in our travels, we’ve found it to be much easier and more peaceful, particularly in those stressful times of travel.  While we obviously love to travel, there are still aspects of it that each of us aren’t crazy about.  So it just makes sense to split those unpleasant tasks up, particularly if one of us is better or enjoys it.

Do you employ a similar strategy when traveling with your partner, whoever it is?  What other tips do you have for traveling as a couple?  Comment below and let us know!